So, you’re getting married in Japan? First of all, OMEDETOU! 🎉 Whether you’re planning a romantic Kyoto shrine ceremony, a stylish Tokyo hotel reception, or a tropical beach wedding in Okinawa, one thing is for sure—Japan’s wedding traditions will amaze you.
But here’s the thing: Japanese wedding receptions (披露宴, “hirouen”) are quite different from Western ones. Think formal elegance, thoughtful traditions, and… wait, no wild dancing?! 😲 Don’t worry—we’ve got your back.
This guide will walk you through everything you need to know about Japanese wedding reception etiquette—so you can impress your guests, avoid awkward mistakes, and fully enjoy your big day.
1. The Guest List & The Money (Oh Yes, There’s Money)
Unlike Western weddings, where guests bring physical gifts, Japanese wedding guests bring money in elegant envelopes called “shugi-bukuro” (ご祝儀袋).
💰 How much should guests give?
- Friends: ¥30,000 (~$200-$300)
- Bosses/Colleagues: ¥50,000 (~$400-$500)
- Family: ¥100,000+ (~$700-$1000)
💡 Important Rule: Never give an even-numbered amount (except ¥30,000), as even numbers can be divided—symbolizing separation. Also, ¥40,000 is a big NOPE (because “4” sounds like “death” in Japanese).
🎁 Your guests won’t leave empty-handed! Instead of party favors, Japanese weddings include hikidemono (引き出物)—a high-end gift for each guest. Think: luxury sweets, handcrafted ceramics, or even personalized sake bottles.
2. What to Wear: Dress Code 101
In Japan, wedding attire is elegant, modest, and well thought out—so leave that neon tux or plunging neckline at home.
👔 For men: A classic black or navy suit with a white shirt. No bright colors unless you really want to stand out.
👗 For women: A formal dress or kimono (if you’re feeling adventurous). But beware:
- No all-white outfits (only the bride wears white!)
- No all-black outfits (black from head to toe is for funerals—yikes!)
- No super revealing dresses—elegance is key.
If you’re attending a traditional Shinto wedding, renting a kimono is a fun way to embrace Japanese culture! Check out rental services like Kimono Rental Wargo for an unforgettable experience.
3. The Reception: How It Flows (Like a Perfectly Timed Tea Ceremony ☕)
Unlike Western receptions, where the party can last until sunrise, Japanese wedding receptions are precisely planned, lasting about two hours. Here’s how they usually go:
🎤 1. The Grand Entrance
The couple makes a breathtaking entrance, often in traditional attire (a white shiromuku kimono or an elaborate iro-uchikake). Expect gasps and polite applause.
🍶 2. Speeches & Kampai!
- The bosses, family members, and close friends will give speeches—some heartfelt, some lengthy, but all respectful.
- The first toast (Kampai! 乾杯) is a big deal. Everyone raises their glass together. Unlike Western weddings, guests won’t start drinking before the kampai—so don’t get caught sneaking a sip early! 😜
🍣 3. The Food: A Culinary Work of Art
Forget buffets—this is Japan! Expect a multi-course meal featuring exquisite dishes like:
- Sashimi and sushi platters
- Seasonal tempura
- Wagyu beef or grilled fish
- Delicate matcha desserts
Everything is beautifully plated and served. Think of it as wedding dinner meets fine dining.
👗 4. The Outfit Change (Because One Dress Is Not Enough!)
Halfway through the reception, the bride often changes into a colorful kimono or Western-style gown. If you love fashion, this is your chance to go all out!
🎁 5. Thank You Speech & Guest Gifts
The couple personally thanks each guest, handing out hikidemono (remember those fancy gifts we talked about?). It’s a meaningful moment of gratitude, not just a party favor handout.
4. What About Dancing? Enter the “Nijikai” (After-Party)!
Here’s where things get interesting: Japanese wedding receptions don’t usually include dancing. No dance floor, no DJ, no “YMCA” singalongs. But don’t worry—there’s an after-party, aka “nijikai” (二次会)!
The nijikai is where things get casual, fun, and sometimes a little wild—often held at a karaoke bar, club, or izakaya (Japanese pub). If you’re craving a proper party, this is your chance to dance, drink, and belt out your best version of “Bohemian Rhapsody.”
5. Planning a Destination Wedding in Japan? Here’s What You Need to Know
Dreaming of a destination wedding in Japan? Here are some breathtaking locations:
🏯 Kyoto – Traditional shrines and temples. Check out Shimogamo Shrine (www.shimogamo-jinja.or.jp) for a Shinto wedding.
🏙️ Tokyo – Luxury hotels with skyline views. Mandarin Oriental Tokyo (www.mandarinoriental.com/tokyo) is perfect for a chic city wedding.
🏝️ Okinawa – White sand beaches and tropical vibes. Seragaki Island Chapel (www.seragakiislandchapel.jp) is a dream for beach-loving couples.
📋 Pro tip: If you’re a foreign couple, work with a local wedding planner who specializes in international weddings. Many luxury hotels offer full wedding packages to simplify the process.
Final Thoughts: Love, Laughter & A Bit of Etiquette
Yes, Japanese weddings come with etiquette rules—but at the heart of it all, it’s about celebrating love. Whether you embrace every tradition or add your own modern twist, your wedding in Japan will be an unforgettable experience.
And if you’re looking for a destination wedding photographer who truly understands Japanese culture, I’d love to help! From capturing the serenity of a Kyoto shrine ceremony to the vibrant energy of a Tokyo skyline reception, let’s create magic together.
✨ See my latest wedding stories: Your Happy Moments Blog
📷 Explore photo packages: Investment
💌 Let’s chat about your dream wedding: Contact Me
So, are you ready to say “I do” in Japan? Let’s make it unforgettable! 💕
